


Walking On Eggshells

by a_heart_full_of_javert



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Attempted Sexual Assault, Depression, Flashbacks, Javert isn't an inspector yet, M/M, Modern AU, Unhealthy Relationships, other unhealthy mental conditions, restaurant AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 11:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10489413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_heart_full_of_javert/pseuds/a_heart_full_of_javert
Summary: His way was always dreadful. Hellish. Awful. Sometimes even degrading—





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, yes, I finally decided to post this thing. I kinda took a character and somehow morphed him into my own but also not my own. So he's kinda half original and half not. It's confusing but bear with me. It all comes together, I promise you. (This I swear by the stars.)

_Javert flinched at the sound of a door slamming shut. He instantly whirled around sharply, facing his...partner. He looked up at him, being an inch or two shorter. He gulped a little before actually saying something._

_“Where were you?”_

_“And that's your business?” Was the harsh response._

_Javert frowned, not saying anything else. Javert knew what that answer meant. He was with her, a bitter thought reminded. It was true, he was pretty sure he was being cheated on. Spending the sober moments with his side bitch._

_He watched as Felix (yes Felix was his_  burden’s _name) took off his coat briskly and forcefully put it on the coat rack in front of the door of their appartment. Well…Felix’s apartment. It was always his. And everything went by his rules. His way._

_His way was always dreadful. Hellish. Awful. Sometimes even degrading—_

Javert let out a huff, lifting his head from the book. He wasn't even reading it. Like he should be. He was only using it as some sort of a pillow.

A really _shitty_  pillow.

Not that he was truly sleeping. Just trying to will an hourly headache away without having to get up and take whatever-number of pills.

He looked up at the digital clock on the nightstand next to his bed. _Two in the morning.._

 _And_  he had work tomorrow. With annoying coworkers. An arrogant boss. And a seemingly pornstar-looking host.

It was just _great_.

He let out another frustrated huff at the thought of it. He glanced down at the open book. The little blurbs on the page going on about something of the differences between the systems of Civil Law and Common Law. His vision went blurry and he squeezed his eyes shut, unable to focus on the words that only made his already throbbing headache worse. He pushed the book away and got up, trudging and dragging himself away from his desk and to his bed. At first, he hated himself for even debating going back to sleep. The devil at the back of his mind was going, “you'll have to wake up in a few hours anyway!” If he listened to that advice, he'd never get sleep at all. The already dark circles under his eyes would be unhealthily darker— that is, if they aren't already so.

It wasn't even that hard. He only had to close his eyes and _stop stressing._

And by God, he's never been taken over by sleep so quickly in _years_.

~•~

When Javert woke up that next morning, his headache wasn't gone. His dread to go to work wasn't gone. And he was still tired. It took too much willpower to get up and get ready. He didn't hesitate to skip breakfast and went straight to tugging on his coat and bolting out the door.

Another habit: acting as if he was late even though he was awfully early. Nothing new. He would usually be early. And he could get his spot in the corner of the bar area while the restaurant wasn't open yet. And all the other _idiot workers_  could go off in their own spot. Just as long as he was left alone and far away. That way nothing could happen to him.

_He must have been really stupid and gullible. To cover it up and make excuses. As if it were okay and normal and deserving._

_‘He was only drunk.’_  
_‘He wasn't aware of what he was doing.’_  
_‘He didn't mean to..’_

_He was stupid enough to even believe that it was a one time thing. That it would stop. There would be no more pushing, no more hitting, no more coming back intoxicated._

_The following day, Felix apologized and promised not to do it again. Javert forgave it. And he fell for it._

_For the week, he'd be greeted with simple gifts. Mostly flowers. And it was blinding and stupefying because it took a few days for Javert to realize that it was almost an exchange. Felix still hit him, still continued to drink. Yet he didn't stop hiding it behind flowers and pleasurable gifts. As if it were acceptable to hit him as long as a box of chocolates came with it. It came to the point where Javert made the awful mistake of snapping._

_“Forget about the flowers, just, would you please, stop hitting me!”_

_Maybe it was his fault. If he kept his mouth shut it wouldn't have be so bad, perhaps. He was stupid. He shouldn't have trusted so easily. He's lucky that he didn't get killed. He was ungrateful. He was still a needy little bitch, Felix was right. He still asked for something even after all that he's done—_

He needed to snap out of it. He needed to work. He needed to push it all away. And suck it up.

~•~

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, yes, chapter two for those of you who read this…

Javert neatly spooned the rest of the food on the plate into a box before putting it in a plastic shopping bag and tying the two handle parts up into a knot. It took a few tries, due to not being able to stop shaking from the vivid memory. Javert tried to push it away. He sighed deeply, then took the bag and made his way to the table occupied by a family of four. He placed the to-go box filled bag on the table. “Do you guys want dessert menus or will that be all for tonight?” He asked.

The younger child started chanting ‘dessert’ over and over again—God, he hated kids sometimes. Most of the time. The mother scolded her and reminded the child that they had ice cream at home. She ignored the child’s complaints after that and looked at Javert with a shake of her head. “No, that will be all, thank you. We’ll just take our check now.”

Javert nodded in response with a quick ‘I'll be back in a moment’ to go get the check. When he returned with the check, he assumed the mother said something that sounded good to the kid who was just a second ago crying, considering she was content again.

Fifteen minutes later and he was able to leave for the evening. It wasn't unfortunate but it wasn't fortunate either. Javert didn't exactly have anything else to do. He hated parties. He didn't have any errands to run. Now he had to figure out what to do with himself…

Once he got in his car he rested his head against the steering wheel, drained of all energy despite all the cups of coffee he had that morning. He let out a defeated huff and brought himself to sit up, put the key into the ignition, and go back to his apartment. Where it was quiet, isolated, and no one could ever bother him…

_Javert glared at Felix with pure hatred, then quickly looking away with a change of expression, backing off once Felix turned back to face him._

_“I didn't—!”_

_“All the things I do for you!” Felix yelled, a growl coming from the back of his throat when he said the ‘you.’_

_Javert shot the bigger man an incredulous look, but fought down a snort. “You don't do jack shit for me,” he muttered. “What kind of things are you even thinking?” He snapped._

_He's never regretted something so quicker kly._

_Felix’s head snapped up in an instant, staring with a ‘deer in the headlights’-looking Javert down for a moment. Once he started making his way to Javert, Javert nearly bolted to the opposite side of the kitchen table, shaking his head frantically._

_“I-I didn't mean it..” he stammered, dodging whatever way Felix seemed to be moving. “Really, I didn't...it was stupid! P-Please…”_

_“Your sorry ass would be on the streets if it weren't for me!” Felix growled, banging the table with a clenched fist._

_“I-I won't do it again..I’m s-sorry!”_

_“Do you really think sorry cuts it?” He saw what Javert’s next move would be quickly and beat him to it, grabbing the smaller one harshly, showing no mercy in his grip. He tightened his grip when Javert tried escaping it with out-of-breath pleads and panted ‘leave me alones.’ Felix tugged at Javert’s hair, making him flinch._

_“You don't know half the shit I do for you, you ungrateful, spoiled little bitch,” he hissed, gripping Javert’s hair even tighter then letting go with a shove._

_Javert gripped the counter, swallowing thickly and letting out a few breaths. He kept silent, staring down at the granite countertop, fearing to look up until he heard heavy footsteps, followed by harsh insults such as ‘useless’ and ‘disobedient’, leaving the room in what felt like forever._

_Javert rushed into his apartment, slamming the door shut and locking it behind him. Like he used to when he bolted into Felix’s bedroom in fear, to take cover from any hits or yelling._  

He wasn't supposed to be this way. He shouldn't have to fear Felix anymore. Anxiety and paranoia would take over his mind and he couldn't help but—

_But Felix isn't in his life anymore. He isn't supposed to be._

He let out a sigh of relief, taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat hook near the door. He put his keys in a glass bowl in the middle of the kitchen island. He glanced at a plate of _actual_ food that was left on the far end counter. He told himself that he would eat something that morning. Try to gain back the ability to really eat on a daily basis. He told himself that the night he came home from work that day, he would eat something decent. _Something_ , at the very least. But he only looked away.

He wasn't hungry. He was tired. He wasn't thinking straight. He couldn't eat now. Besides, did he even need it?

Instead, he went about, returning to his room. He changed out of his work clothes and into something more bearable. But he only sat down where he started the day. Studying and reading the law. _Not_  getting sleep.

It was unhealthy, he knew. But he _had_  to get into school. He had to be prepared for a better future even if it meant high levels of sleep deprivation and dark circles under his eyes. He needed a distraction, work was a distraction. He rarely thought about his personal life, his past, or _him_  at work. If he studied, things can and will be easier for him to forget and leave behind. Right? But right now he had to trudge through figuring everything out. And go through day after day of endless stress and consistency; it was a vicious cycle. But something he had to deal with.

He sighed through his nose, fatigue starting to take over him. And, shit— his head was pounding. He let out a breath, suppressing the urge to whine and groan with frustration. Felix used to call him a bitch if he ever did that. And bitch was one of the nicer names…

_It was one of those blessed times where Felix wasn't home yet and Javert would have the apartment to himself. Even if it were for a few minutes. Not being treated like dirt for any amount of time was worth everything. It was the rare time where he could do something without being hounded. He didn't have to worry about being touched or yelled at._

_It was the time of day where Javert could at least eat something small without a comment that was shaming being muttered under Felix’s alcohol-infected breath._

_His back was turned to the door as he was putting back plates and bowls into the cabinets. The clanking of the glass plates covered up the sound of the doorknob turning. The door opening and closing. The door being locked. The footsteps that led up behind him._

_Javert felt an arm around his waist and his hip being squeezed and he let out a tiny yelp and whipped around to face whoever this person was._

_It was Felix._

_Smirking, snickering, mocking Felix. As usual. He looked down, pushing the cabinet door shut. He was drunk, Javert could smell it._

_“There's a more useful thing that you should be doing right now.”_

_“I'm doing the dishes so you can have something to eat from later on,” Javert responded, putting a mug away._

_“I already have something to eat from.” The grip on his hip tightened and Javert tensed._

_He shook his head. “I-I'm not...I don't want to..” he said._

_“Bullshit,” Felix hissed, harshly tugging Javert against him, his hands roaming a squirming Javert._

_“No!” Javert tried pushed off of Felix. He whined a little. “G-Get off of me,” he tried, clearly uncomfortable._

_“Still,” Felix demanded, harshly hitting Javert’s backside, resulting in a whimper escaping the smaller man’s lips. He ignored the way Javert squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip to the point of drawn blood. “Don't try to hide it,” he murmured in Javert’s ear, pressing against him, “prove to me you aren't the worthless whore everyone knows you to be.”_

_“I don't want to..” Javert shot the ‘request’ down, flinching as he felt a sharp tug of his hair. This only earned a chuckle from Felix. Taking advantage of Javert’s weak state, he easily got him against the wall, accompanying the advantage with rough touches, harsh names, and unwanted closeness._

_Felix had made it pretty clear he didn't care how much Javert begged, pleaded, bled, and hurt._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valjean will be introduced soon!!! I promise. Next chapter, perhaps?! I'm already working on it.

**Author's Note:**

> I will add tags and other things as I update chapters. Thank you for taking your time to read and I hope it was worth it.


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